Hello class, do you have an unforgettable experience? I think all of you have that. Now I want to tell you about my unforgettable experience. It happened when I was in elementary school. It made me so ashamed. Here you are, I want to retell again to you.
One day, my mother and I went to Beringharjo. We went there bought some souvenirs for my aunt. Beside that, my mother wanted to buy batik for me. It was so crowded. Many people visited Beringharjo. Yeah, because there was a holiday.
In that time, I was still short and I couldn’t see anything except just back from other people. I was just walking around and it made me so bored. Suddenly, there was something unique. It was a doll in windows shop. Then I stopped and saw the doll. For a while, I didn’t realize if I didn’t hold my mother’s hand bags again and I had been holding a stranger’s hand bag. I separated from my mother.
Next, the stranger accompanied me to go to a place which for reporting a missing person. Then, they made announcement in information center. I hoped my mother could hear that. In that time I was so scared. Later, my mother came and picked up me. Oh, thank you God.
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BalasHapushai, brigita..
BalasHapusstill rememeber me.. the person who taught you past narrative..
well, I'm glad that you have written your exercise from me...
I really appreciate it.
Okay, now I will write some comment for your exercise.
Th good one for yours is you have good generic structure in your writing. It makes more understand to follow your event. You also separated orientation, problem, and resolution into three paragraph. Well organized...
But, there are still grammatical mistakes in your writing. But don't worry, it was not very much as you think. Just some..
I'll show you one by one sentence to ease you see that:
1. "We went there bought some souvenirs for my aunt."
do you still remember that in one sentence there aren't two irregular verbs (except it was connected by " and", "or", "but")
your irregular words are "went" and "bought"
so, your sentence for the correct one should be like this...
# We went there to buy some souvenirs for my aunt.#
2. "I couldn’t see anything except just back from other people."
Actually I want to ask you first to make me sure before I make a mistake to correct your sentence.
Do "back" here mean "punggung" in bahasa indonesia.
If yes, it will better if you use preposition "of" to replace form or you can change it into "other people's back".
Because when I looked into the dictionary, there was no preposition "from" for the "back".
3. "Next, the stranger accompanied me to go to a place which for reporting a missing person."
Actually the problem here is "which for".
If you want to describe place, you use " where" or "in which" , right...
So, it will be better if you replace the word "which for".
And, your sentence will become..
#Next, the stranger accompanied me to go to a place where/in which it is for reporting a missing person.#
4. Next is just some phrases that maybe you forgot to add " the" in this phrases..
"in windows shop."
it should be #in the windows shop#
"in information center"
it should be
# in the information center#
well, that's all from me.
From overall, you have did a good job, just need a little revision.
okay, brigita c u anymore..
oh, yeah I forget, hehehhehe....
if you are still confused and want to ask more questions about that, you can see my blog in
http://rhaekryankyubi.blogspot.com/
but, if you want also comment my blog, just feel free..
bye.. bye.. brigita....
nice post...
BalasHapusI think, Ms.Risma has already told to you.
hehehehe....